It's been a while...

You know, I was thinking that I really don't ever use my blog enough ever. For shame. Well, it's never too late.

I feel so separated from everything that otherwise I am a part of, as if I'm dissimilar in some way. I feel like I'm being forced out, but all I want to do is stay. It's the difference that's forcing me to make a choice: change or leave. Then again, I've always kind of different. Maybe I'm meant to be on the sides, never really understood. Am I understood? It's a scary question because really, can you ever know? Its this understanding that I need validated on days where all I can feel are the words on a page, and nothing else. We all need that person, those people who get us, who can say just one thing, one word, or perhaps just a smile or a look, and we know that out vantage point has been theirs. And you can't fight it, you can never fight it. Just like time, the change operates of its own accord, having little to do with what is controllable by humans. Like a decayed structure, it is meant to fall. But who's falling the world around you, or you?